pike

born in  a merger they wanted you to become a major.what time is it? 4:10 i said. the last word you ever uttered. in a deep sleep i fell. the angle of death was passing. our song  was playing i was fast taken. it bypassed me and came to you. i still want to be on the Forbes magazine smiling next to opra and the queen.
i asked why you of all people.but who would i have wished to be taken in your place? we all retreated to solitude. keeping memories to selves.

the Major seemed to be missing, at that point no decision good enough as to the way forward.the cord i could cut but i took too long. guilt of being there and doing nothing. seeing daddy  cry tore heart apart.

the beauty of life faded desires of the heart too. could i walk head high again, could conscience be clear, free and futuristic ;clear the last image of thy .

the master ,a father and friend. self control no drugs no bad company the up keep of good morals. how appropriate could they have been. casting problems away. tossing wine and spirits.

talking was not an option it neither is. trust is something i have lost. the people that are ment to figure model turn against. who is it that you talk to?
and if you talk then what? is sanity restored? is life brought back? is it not stigma that we put upon self? is self pity not enough?

today we cry tomorrow is another day.we smile and laugh deep down we cry. yet again we have life what more could you ask for??? but how to live from there. what to smile about. hypocrisy ,double personality living someone's life. who is living in thy's? what recognition  do we have of self.

dress well eat well do no evil' see no evil, hear no evil.perfect life  thought. but not a day without anger, a week without a tear. nor  a month without a heart break .still a perfect life???deep rooted in success but no access to soul perspect .

Time

They say friendships make the best relationships. This might be true our not. They also say love makes marriages. But I believe in commitment... I say that love can not sustain my marriage but my willingness top put up with the person.
I know this brings us to the question "what is love?" If you are waiting for me to answer that ;I hope you are patient enough to wait for me to found the right answer.
he was first a friend. At a very difficult time in my existence. He offered a shoulder to lean on and I got comfortable on it. The rest of these story is still being written.
The truth is there were some aspects in him I did not like. I was not sure I would cope with them. At that moment, I had the choice to leave and look for something more pleasing
today I don't recognize those aspects.maybe its because I choose to ignore and look at the others that I liked or they went away. But what I remember is... He had told me 'give me time'.
Take time be patient and the earth will seem an easy place to live on.

Determination

Have you ever had an idea to start something. lets say a business of making shoes,Ankara, being the in tending thing at the moment. You find a good partner whose passion is as zealous as yours.

You both do the required maths  of the items needed. You give each other morale for so long but never commence. For around 3months the psych dies down. But the pressure to pursue the dream continues to build up within.

My friend Joy and i have such dream;to make a great bag design company. We envisioned to do the labour ourselves thinking we had the sawing machine for the job. we relied on one that the grand mother has closed up her closet.

We shoped for the materials needed so as to know the price, quality and what have you. Some samples were bought for testing. Her mother promised to be our first customer.

Joy together with her materials got surprised when she went to sample. The machine was not working. The budget had to go higher.

I have just made the step to buy the sawing machine. I don't know if the design will go through. But Am determined  to atleast start : Bulwarky D~els

appreciative nature

Am seated  in a flight to Addis-abba  and am thinking how lucky I am to have this privilege . My parent are typical government employees and have so much burden on their heads... But they still go forth  and give me the chance to tour the world. Maybe that fact that am the only one might push them to do this but again how many more only kids are on this plane?

Some times as kids we rarely if ever, appreciate what this old fellas do for us.... Waking up in the morning and finding tea with buttered bread on the table has become a routine.  we do not stop to think of the effort that they put in for us to have that  luxury. The few weeks I spent in a foreign country having no mama to cook for me and no papa to employ a house help who would wash my clothes taught me a lesson.

Having to budget for the week means knowing that that sweet "On The Run" smoothie needs not to be taken weekly. And one pound burn breads go as easy down pocket as the throught compared to the 8 pound single extre gee croissant.

life in our parents roof is much more easier because they take the burden for us. being appreciative is simply saying thankyou.

Back then

BACK THEN

Kenya has come a longway. I was checking up on a trend on twitter #onceuponakenyantime. The memories that trend evoked in my mind were amazing.

I remember when I was growing up (I can’t say young because it’s now when am young) I owned a BMX. The mountain bikes of back then. Or what is the in bike? I was the meanest person when it came to the bike. If you were to get a ride on it you had to pay me. One shilling was the charge. I claimed it was for maintenance purposes. But it always ended at the nearest shop to buy patco . They were not like the ones we have today. Their quality was good, extra sweet and firm.

I used to take one shilling coins from the house grocery account to buy patco and Koo (I wonder where they went). My father would always ask who takes money from the house. We felt like geniuses thinking he did not know. One day my father waited for us (me and my brother) to pick the coins as usual and walked in when we were in the action. The memory of that day still lingers my mind. The beating we received… let’s just i say have never taken an extra coin from my father without his consent since then.

The trend on twitter brought back memories of bano. I did love that game. My brother always lied to me there was an Olympic section of the came and I was working to go and unleash my talent to the world there. In school I would always get into problems because of playing the game. The teachers termed it as gambling. But I can’t blame them. When I look back and see my little short and skinny self in a green and white checked dress squatting in the Conner of the school field, aiming to hit other pebble with mine… not a pretty good cite.

OMO PICK A BOX. Regina Ree where did you go? This lady was my role model. That English! Considering I was brought up in the Eastland’s area and the only English we spoke was in class and it was broken. This was one of the most tweeted game show on that trend.

Life was easy then. There was ample playing ground. Not like today where all the land has been grabbed even not a foot path is left. That’s why kids play fifa and those ps3 video games… I wonder what girls play in this error. Or do they just watch Kim Kardashian and ice loves coco!  They missed out on Kasuku and rounders. Or is it there?

The y generation kids won’t have anything to remember. But thinking of it the previous generation thought the same of us. Though, I still feel a lot has been deprived from them. Take a  Walk into house of leather and see all kinds of toys they have and the shelves. The kids do not have the chance to make guns from mad and play police and robber; to say tushnyao referring to a gunshot sound. I mean their toy gun already have a sound.

To make themselves dirty and be beaten when they get home in the evening.  The trend did take me down a memory lane and as one of the tweeps said… let’s do these again seven years from now.

Withheld

WITHELD

For mercy I still plea,

Living like a single pea,

Missing the other pair,

Though still eat the rest of the pear.

In spirit together we shall ever be,

Rich you left with love for thee,

Now who I am the gun I should be holding,

The gap you left to you I should come.

For every sprawl around for you looking,

Sure I still call for you searching.

For the truth I want to seek

Not finding you shall be scaring

Coz without you I am boring

For you did show me how to have

a good life

by Mwongeli. M