Saudade

Have you ever met a person

The connection is from the heavens

before you even speak to them

before you even mark off the key things in the check list of the one.

The ideal man.

You see a future with them and you are ready to fight

Its not love yet,

You are not physically thinking of them

You just want to listen to them

The animals in their head

Their fears and tears

What makes them tickle  and the time bomb in them

would they be a good company in a road trip

what is their most danced to music

I would enjoy counting the stars with this one

Do they name cloud and shape them

what happens when they drink their selves silly

how angelic are they when they close their eyes in rest

But the fear

Of rejection

Of heart aches

Is there another person in their life

Why don’t they make the move

What if the worst happens

What is the worst that can happen

Is the feeling mutual

you convince yourself, Let it go,

Its not meant to be

Its probably just a fling

Soon it will be out  of mind

It cannot work but you cannot quit

Three weeks down

They are still making laps In your mind

Do you make the call?

Do you drop a text?

Is there a cool way of making the move?

Will the perceived intention the ones to be received?

Will they be warmly reciprocated?

can you live with the result?

should you just drop the rose?

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Make Me Understand

A silent evening off the Thursday thunderstorm. You posted the grand sale that your friend had made. It was quite funny… and although we were not friends but acquaintances, I thought I could slide right through and share the little ray of light that you had glammed my 3.2mm frown with.

As a creature of serenity and simplicity, tomorrow I want to follow the butterfly, down the white sands as it lands on the cowry shell. I want to watch the stars off the roof robbed kitchen as we warm muthoki with Smokey eyes. But I do not understand why not do that now.

Evening cappuccino as you sip your black tea and bite of  your cheese beef sandwich… I am mad because I had to do shopping that I did not need because I was waiting for you… how? I do not know! because your phone was off at the time we were to meet. Why not just go home? I do not understand.

But how does tomorrow look like? Do we have an assured scene? Will my dog see me as a good mother? Did all the words we uttered there truth based? Does my housemate secretly complain of the shoes I leave on the door step?

Why don’t we just say what we want? I think life is too shorts to get entangled when you just need/want a single bite. We do not need to lie to ourselves to smile through the day. Why wet the pillow overnight and cover conceal the eye bugs in make up.

Brethren come clean. If you want a beer instead of sparkling water… its way cheaper and they both quench the thirst. If you want to slip into flip flops  and not your timbers to the first date, they are comfortable than the tie and leather pinky toe pressing crocodile skin shoes.

Sistren; put on the shirt dress, wear the bata ngomas in all colours all week. Say hi to your Dzaaadzy for me while in Malawi yucking the sushi but pretending to like it while on snap. Work your ass off  your ass in the 3 layers of make up and the tight skirts up the corporate ladder.

Because at the end of the day they(we) will still talk. Give them something interesting to put next to your name.

Know what? ...Actually am better off not understanding. thanks 

MM

Make The choice, Make the move

This is for the married and those in relationships. Those who are in one mentally and psychologically but do not want to admit it physically. The ones in love secretly and are afraid to confess their love because they fear rejections. Those who have made up their minds about the girl they want in their life but are afraid to hurt her.

Think about your girlfriend or that girl while reading this… her infectious smile, her polite eye, ever mischievous look and her soft and naturally coloured lips. She has no dimple but insists that there is one forming on her right chick. She is obsessed by your dimple and will always act strong around you.  Flawless in her 5.2ft height and her little chipolata toes that she always hides in her canvas shoes. All you see is perfection and God’s favoritism during creation.

Always in constant communication and on your back even when you throw her the silent motions. With your bad days and attitude, she tries to be the perfect girlfriend/ girl friend. She tries to keep you thinking of her; but you never start the conversation.

Think of how many guys want to be with her… chances are she knows of two and there are three more who show sign and countless are the ones she does not know of. But she still call you to say goodnight. No this is not to make you feel jealous. You are the one who has her attention and the one who knows when her men-senses are here. These I believe are the most embarrassing moment of a woman to talk to a man about.

How many guys do you think are in love with her smile? Cheeky and full of life. Smile, bright enough to make the full moon darken and her popping cheeks that she hides. She smile even when you see the pain in her eyes; at the gate man and the massai newspaper vendor outside your office.  So awe-inspiring you are afraid of your manhood being stripped away when she is snatched from you; yet you are the proudest being when dinning with her.

Darling SHE CHOSE YOU. You might not be the man in the white BMW, or the guy with the cubical divisions on the stomach. You are not the guy in the neat haircut and the sharp attire in the room. You will not take her on a vacay in the white sands and to see the wild animals nor buy her the latest digital gadget. But still she chose you. To her you are the most perfect guy in the world.

She does not require you to rub her feet when she is tired, she does not need a meal from that glitzy restaurant. She just wants a smile back when she sends one your way. She wants the eye contact that says I appreciate your presences here today. She wants you to uncomplicate things and let her run into your arms when she is in dismay.

The perfect girl fit for your life. The one you want to call when things go west and when you feel gay. Despite you, not talking to her for the past two days, she still picks your call and brings out her best voice. As common notion might precede the case, she is the one with low self-esteem. She is the one who is keeping herself in the boxing ring that she is clearly loosing. But the reason she is still there is because she is waiting for you to realize what is in your plate. Be true to yourself and set her mind free.

You are afraid to be with her because we ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But do you ever think the ocean would be less because of that missing drop? Place the drop in the water mass and make it an ocean. In Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Best believe in your dreams before another man believes in his.

PROMISE TO LOVE YOU

Dear me,

I know we have not had the best relationship yet… I have not loved you the way you ought to be loved I have not given you the attention you require… but please bare with me; I am trying my best. I am trying to be the best person for you.  So this year, I promise to love you the way you ought to be loved.

1.     I promise to Date you.

I will spoil you to the best of my abilities. I will give you the big teddy bear that you always wanted , I will take you out for dates and buy you chicken wings often. I will shower you with flowers and fragrance from the best vendors I will take you out to the park and museums for the peace of mind as you write and collect your pieces.

2.     I promise to take care of you.

Dress you in the decent fashionable and classy cloths no more TJR. I promise to accessorize you with a smile and to always have high standards with you. To feed you with healthy foods and to exercise you, keeping you fit. At the same time to eat all the Ice cream and hut burgers and long walks in the dark. To be there when you need me and to always kiss you goodnight and good morning because I am not letting you out of my sight.

3.     I promise to choose you.

If there is a debate and I am to pick you or someone else, I will swing you in my arms and kiss you on the forehead. I will put you first in the decisions I will make. And you will always be the person I will be searching for in a crowded place.

4.     I promise to let you be.

I know sometimes you want to be alone and enjoy/ fight with the animals in your head. This time round, I will give you your space to breath. I will not enquire you to go for a dance and you do not want to. I will not take you out for drinks and your gut is not up for it. I will not wake you up when you want to sleep. I will let you be. 

5.     I promise to be there for you.

To pick up your mess after you have vented out. To uplift your soul when you are feeling low.  To be your soul mate when you are soulless. To feed you with happiness when you are feeling low. Coz I always got your ass.

6.     I promise to always be open with you.

To say all that I need to say for the best of what we want; To have an open system that does not effort us to keep our secrets deep within. To let you free off your emotions and to always speak out what is in mind letting no one influence the decision-making.

7.     I promise to pray for you and most importantly with you.

I will pray to see you achieve your dreams and pray with you to chase your fears away. I will be there as you face your qualms and chase your trances and always seek to see you succeed in all that you do.

8.     I Promise to believe in you.

Even when I have doubts of your vision! To help you seek your fate and see you smile at night, when the stars are shining or on a dark cloudy day.

9.     I promise to love God before I love you.

I know I said you will be first but God is infinite. Until I learn to love him a quarter of how he loves me, will I learn to love you the way you want me to love you. So I am sorry I will put God’s interests before those of ours but always know that I love you First.

I know it sounds all bullshit but this is a promise I intend to keep. I might fall short in one or two point but always know I have the best intentions for you.

You make me happy and tomorrow will not come if i d not love you more than i love you today

I promise to marry you now and always to choose you. This is my solemn vow.

Yours truly and in love with you ,

Myself

*YoungWildandMorethanFree*
*MwongeliM*