No I am not willing to be number two!! Because being second
is to be the first of the ones who lose. This article comes as a follow up to
my previous piece on the same platform (http://mwongelim.blogspot.com/2014/11/number-two.html
). I have had some feedback from concerned parties asking how I could advocate
for the second bit. The truth is in the world, there will always be the "number
twos". But I do love myself too much to
be number two simply because I don’t like being second choice. I will walk away before you
even consider me as a backup plan.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but
his mother the longest. Yeas I am willing to be number two. But only to your MOTHER!! Yeas I hear some mother in-laws are cold blooded monsters
from hell. I have not meet them yet. And yes I am not yet married. So yes I might
not have enough experience when I write this. But I believe that if a man does
not love his mother there is no way that he will love me.
I will put up with all the crap from a man’s mother if my man does respect her (at this point all other factors are constant), simply
because it means he will respect me. I have no problem with mama’s boys ( to some extent though),
because it shows they will make time for me at some point as they do for their mother. Harold Macmillan (one
time prime minister of the United Kingdom) did say: No man succeeds without a
good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed
indeed. I like my men successful and the mother is the only one who can be
number one and I, the 2nd.
According to Groucho Marx, A man's wife is his compromise with
the illusion of his first sweetheart. Behind every successful man is a woman,
behind her is his wife. Groucho Marx was an American comedian and film and
television star. He was widely considered one of the best comedians of the
modern era (I do not know how quoting a comedian will be credible and justifiable
to my points). I like the simple and elegant things in life. To kiss with my
eyes closed, to tear in laughter and to take walk without looking out for the
shadows following me. Dealing with a ferocious baby mama/ first wife will not
allow me the simplicity nor the elegance.
I would not also want to me the ferocious one at the mortuary
being thrown out by the security when intending to listen to his post-mortem
result. And minutes after I see the first wife being escorted in by his best
friend full of grace and peaceful morning.
I want to be sit on the front row in his funeral and him to be
called Baba Jade (our only son’s name) throughout the service.
It is said that a man owes his success to his first wife and
his second wife to his success. I do not know how true that is but I kind of
agree. Most often than not the second wives come up when the man has some
change in his pocket to spare. Only the first wife knows how many times the man
has slept hungry and how stressed he was before he landed that golden deal.
Ever wondered why they are called “kachungwa". Fruits are expensive
to buy. Not every Mumo and Marlow can afford them. A bunch of 5 oranges cost
around 100 shillings. A financially pitiable
man would rather buy loaf and milk than oranges. After he has had a decent meal
then he can think of the topping. I am decent enough to be the meal and not the
topping!
Dr. Samuel Johnson am writer who made great contribution to the English literature as a moralist to say
the least, articulates, By taking a second wife he (any man) pays the highest
compliment to the first, by showing that she made him so happy as a married
man, that he wishes to be so (married) a second time. I cannot be in a man’s life to
complete desires the first wife installed in him. I do not want to be
compared to another woman or worse still be under her. God help my dream (or is
it a nightmare?) of not being a second wife come true.
